Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Trusting in the Lord

My journey in Australia since arriving in Sydney about four years ago have taught me the biggest lesson, and that is to trust in the Lord's timing. In everything.

When I look back I cannot express enough my awe and gratitude when it comes to His provision and never-ending faithfulness to me as I slowly but surely worked my way to pay off my exorbitant school fees, rent and food. There are many times when, I have to admit, that He was cutting it a bit too close for my liking. Cut-off days for fees and nearly empty bank accounts were the bane of my life as a student. But looking back now, I understand that this was His way of showing that He will always provide and will never forsake me in times of desperate need. All I have to do is trust in His timing.

This week, both my housemates and I have lost our jobs. We weren't fired, exactly. The franchise that we were all working for got sold to a new owner who decided that he didn't need any of us anymore. And that was that.

So with my bank account dipping to yet another dangerous low, and with my Temporary Residency application needing hundreds of dollars to complete as well as the best friend's wedding coming up, I find myself facing desperate times again. Only this time, I am reminded by my church to keep trusting in His timing and to keep believing in miracles.

And that is why I still give with what little I have because I just know that when the time comes, the Lord will be behind me urging me on and giving me yet another open window of opportunities. :)

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Coping with the death of a loved one's loved one.

There are many articles teaching you how to deal with the death of a loved one, but what happens when a loved one of your loved one passes?

I have now gone through two such deaths and second time around, I still feel quite lost as to how I should be feeling. The fact that I am not personally acquainted to these people who mean so much to that someone close to heart means that I have a sort of detachment from them. And yet, I am somewhat related to them through my relationship with the person I care for.

The few lessons that I have learnt in coping with deaths of a loved one's loved one:

1. Don't use words like "I know how you feel".
Because let's face it, everyone deals with death differently. And it's worse still if you really don't know what it feels like and you're hoping to make them feel better by trying to empathise. You will never know what it's like to lose someone you hold dear in your heart until you actually do.

2. Listen or leave them be.
Coping mechanisms for different individuals differ. For me, I find that if I'm feeling sad I'd rather just be in the arms of someone close and bawl my eyes out. But for others, talking about it to a friend may work better. Or blasting loud music. Or eating a whole tub of ice-cream. So listen if they need listening or leave them alone if need be. Unless of course it involves drugs or excessive alcohol or suicide.

3. Just be normal.
I think the best way yet, is to go through life as normal. It is about the most helpful thing because it is offering the possibility and hope that life can go on like normal after the passing of a loved one. Of course it is inevitable for memories to linger and grief to set in once in awhile, but without disrupting the natural mourning period, the best support to give is to go on your usual business.

I'm not saying all these works for everyone. But these are some of the things that I have found to be quite useful in the situations that I have gone through. Sure, you'll never understand the degree of grief they're going through. Just be there for them when they need you to be and allow them to mourn their loss.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Well, hello again.

In the blink of an eye, almost a whole year has passed since my last post! It is already April which means a whole quarter of the year 2013 has gone by without my acknowledging (in this blog anyway) the new year creeping in.

Today, I am slightly different from the girl who wrote that last post about Mom. I come back here as an unemployed graduate who is still dreaming of traversing the world and looking for something to give meaning to the days of my life. This blog was initially written by a wide-eyed, naive girl (Yes, still naive at 22!) to 'find' herself and write about her pursuits of happiness and all things important! But fast-forward to the soon-to-be 24 year-old version, I find that I still haven't figured out that much about myself although I am a little happier and hopefully a little wiser.

BUT as Rowena Grant-Frost very wisely wrote in frankie #45, you never really know yourself completely. Not when you're 22 or 52, you just 'get a better sense of who you are, what you like and what you value as a stand-alone person'.

I have big plans for this year (as I always do!) but after years and years of making big plans, I have learnt to make smaller, simpler big plans. Like splurging on a nice brunch once a week and doing more travelling. Oh, and also find a job. Right now I want to journal my (hopefully) numbered days as a bum and maybe find myself just a little bit more.